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A HARD DAYS NIGHT (Part 1)

By: Betsy Harbin

Roy entered the locker room and found his partner sitting inside his locker reading a magazine and absently fiddling with a pair of handcuffs. Roy opened his locker and began to change into his uniform.

"What’d you do…transfer to the police department?" the senior partner quipped as he hung up his civilian shirt.

"Hunh?" Johnny asked absently as he looked at his friend with a confused expression on his face.

"The handcuffs…I was just wondering if you decided to become a cop and give up the glamorous life of fire fighting." Roy stated as he pulled on his uniform shirt.

"Oh…no…these little babies are going to solve my problems with Linda." Johnny stated mysteriously.

"What do you plan on doing Gage…handcuffing her to the house so she can’t date other people?" Chet queried as he entered the locker room. Johnny shot him an annoyed look.

"No…for your information I’ve been reading about a new relationship therapy that helps couples learn how to trust each other." Johnny informed the mustached fireman in a haughty tone.

"I’ve heard of handcuffs being used by couples for a lot of reasons, but trust certainly wasn’t one of them….if you know what I mean." Chet stated as he gave the young paramedic a wicked grin which caused his moustache to twitch.

"Get your mind out of the gutter will ya!" Johnny stated impatiently as he waved the magazine under Chet’s nose. "There’s a doctor…a marriage councilor…here in LA that has been experimenting with this new form of therapy to help newly married couples overcome the fear of intimacy. " Chet grabbed the magazine from Johnny and scanned the article as Roy read over his shoulder while pulling on his uniform pants. Johnny absently tossed the handcuffs in the air catching them in his hands.

"It says here that the couples who handcuffed themselves to each other for a month learned how to compromise and to work together as a team. They built trust between each other and once the experiment was over went on to have successful marriages." Chet read from the magazine.

"So what does this have to do with you and Linda?" Roy asked curiously.

"Yeah…you guys aren’t even married." Chet observed.

"And we never will be if Linda doesn’t start learning how to trust me." Johnny offered as explanation.

"Johnny you’re not making any sense." Roy stated matter of factly.

"Does he ever?" Chet asked flatly as Johnny shot him a murderous look.

"If you would read the rest of the article it says that this technique works for everyone involved in a relationship. You don't have to be married."" Johnny concluded in an expert tone.

"You lost me." Roy said with confusion as he stared blankly at Johnny. "I always thought you and Linda got along pretty well. To me it seems that you both think on the same wave length. After all you’ve known each other your whole lives. Why mess with something that already works."

Johnny sighed heavily as he began to explain his logic to Roy in a tone one would use when explaining something to a toddler. "It’s simple. Linda has a few road blocks that are obstructing our relationship from progressing to the next level. I plan on helping her to eliminate those road blocks." Roy looked at Chet helplessly and shrugged his shoulders in confusion.

"Translation…Linda still won’t sleep with him, so Johnny plans on handcuffing himself to her until she finally gives in." Chet loosely interpreted for the blond haired paramedic.

Johnny grabbed the magazine from Chet and proceeded to whack him on the head with it.

"OW!" yelled the shorter fireman as he grabbed the top of his head and ducked.

"AH! Now I see!" Roy stated as the light bulb went off in his head. "Johnny that’s…" Roy tried to think of the correct word to use.

"Sick!" Chet offered hopefully. "Perverted?"

"Kinky is more like it." Roy concluded.

"Either way it’s weird, but hey that’s Gage to begin with." Chet stated matter of factly as Roy stifled a laugh. Johnny angrily whacked Chet on the head with the magazine again.

"OW! Stop that before you give me a concussion!" Chet demanded as he rubbed his head.

"You know you guys will never understand anything." Johnny said as he angrily tossed the magazine and handcuffs into his locker. "Here I am trying to explain a revolutionary medical procedure to you and all you two can do is make cute quips."

"Johnny this isn’t a medical procedure. It’s some quack out to make a buck just like all the other snake oil cure all’s that are out there now." Roy calmly explained to his naïve partner.

"Snake oil?!" Johnny growled as he slammed his locker shut and glared at Roy intensely. "I suppose you think EST and Primal Screaming are all snake oil therapies too."

"As a matter of fact I do. Look Johnny the only way to deal with your frustrations or problems is the good old fashioned way…talk them out or find a logical way to solve them on your own. Why don’t you just talk to Linda about why she won’t sleep with you?"

"I have asked her and she doesn’t say anything. Besides this is deeper than just wanting to sleep with her. She’s always had a real problem getting close to people and anymore she has completely shut herself off. I just want to break through that wall a little bit."

"And handcuffing yourself to her is how you plan on gaining her trust?" Roy asked in confusion.

"Well if anything Johnny might prove one thing to Linda." Chet interjected.

"Yeah…what’s that?" Roy asked innocently.

"That he’s a complete lunatic and she’d be better off finding someone new." Chet quipped. As Roy and Chet laughed at the comment Johnny opened his locker and pulled out the magazine. He whacked Chet upside the head twice with the publication.

"Roy call Rampart! I think he just caused brain damage." the smaller fireman whined.

"You’d have to have a brain to damage." Johnny commented dryly.

Chet opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the tones sounding.

"Squad 51 possible heart attack. 4598 Lexington Court. Four…five…nine…eight…

Lexington Court. Cross street Maple. Time out 9:45.

Johnny tossed the magazine back into his locker then jogged out the door after Roy. Chet reached into the locker and picked up the magazine and the handcuffs. He scanned the article again then looked at the handcuffs.

"I still say it’s perverted and sick." he mumbled to himself as he tossed the articles back into the locker and shut the door. He headed for the MAIN door shaking his head in disbelief. Chet returned to the locker room moments after exiting and opened Johnny’s locker again. He took out the magazine, shut the door and exited the room once more.

*****

Roy backed the squad into the engine bay and shut off the ignition. Johnny was in a foul mood and it had been a long silent ride back from Rampart General Hospital. Roy glanced over at his still sulking partner.

"What’s eating you?" Roy asked with concern. Johnny looked at his friend as if he had just sprouted a second head. "What’s eating me is you!" the younger man stated sarcastically.

"Me?! What’d I do?" Roy asked incredulously.

"Was it really necessary for you to tell everyone at Rampart about my personal life?" Johnny shot back.

"Look…when you get the insane notion to handcuff yourself to another person based on the theory of some whacked out guru claiming to be a doctor then…YES…I feel the need to tell real doctor’s and nurses about your private life in order to save you from yourself." Roy stated firmly.

"You know what your problem is Roy?" he asked rhetorically. "You’re close minded. You just can’t accept anything new into your life." the junior partner observed. "Everything has to be just like it use to be…no deviations or changes."

"I can too!" Roy stated defensively. "Joanne went on a decorating spree last week and I accepted a brand new bedroom suit complete with new carpeting." Johnny looked at Roy and rolled his eyes in despair.

"That’s not what I meant!"

"Hey…I loved the old bedroom suite…it was a wedding present from our folks and if I had my choice I would have kept it."

"Roy we’re talking about people and relationships here…not bedroom suites! I am willing to try whatever it takes to make my relationship with Linda better. How I do that is none of anybody else’s business and I’m really sorry I brought it up to you guys now!"

"Being handcuffed together isn’t something you can hide. I think we would have figured it out sooner or later." Roy stated dryly.

"Ha-ha." Johnny stated sarcastically as he shot his friend an annoyed look.

"Even Dr. Brackett and Dixie agreed with me. The best thing you can do is to talk to Linda and take things one step at a time. You’ve both got a history together and things are going well with the two of you, so why not just let nature take it’s course?"

Johnny sighed heavily as he tuned out every word Roy had just spoken. "The problem with you Roy is that you are not of the times. In today’s day and age you just don’t sit back and wait for things to happen…you have to make them happen. They have all these self-help things out now because people are tired of waiting for someone else or something else to come along and make their lives easier or better. The only person you can rely on to improve your situation is yourself…and that’s exactly what I’m doing…I’m taking charge and I’m going to improve my situation."

Roy stared at his friend in stunned silence as Johnny shot him a determined look. "You’re unbelievable." Roy finally managed to choke out. "I’d try to argue with you, but I have no clue what the hell it is you’re talking about!"

"That’s the difference between you and me." Johnny pointed out. "I’m hip and you’re square." With that final comment he opened the door, slid out of the vehicle and headed for the community room leaving a confused Roy behind to think about his statement. The rest of the "A" shift crew were relaxing in the community room when Johnny entered. Captain Stanley sat at the table drinking coffee while he worked on some paper work as Mike and Marco sat quietly in the far corner playing a rousing game of chess while Chet sat on the couch reading a magazine. Johnny poured two cups of coffee. He leaned casually against the stove and took a sip of his coffee as he waited for Roy to join him. A few moments later Roy entered the room and gratefully took the cup offered by his partner.

"I’ll say this…" Roy stated matter of factly. "You’re right about one thing."

"Oh? Really?!" Johnny asked as he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What about?"

"I am a square and I’m proud of it!"

"What are you two talking about?" Captain Stanley inquired curiously as he took a break from his work.

"Johnny here has the bright idea of handcuffing himself to Linda in order to get her to sleep with him." Roy stated with a sardonic tone as he took a drink of his coffee.

"He WHAT?!" the Captain asked incredulously as he stared at Johnny.

"Capt. Roy is over simplifying a very complex issue." Johnny stated defensively.

"I just have one request…" the Captain stated.

"What’s that?" Johnny asked innocently.

"Let me know what day and time the funeral will be so I can request it off." the commander finished. Roy started laughing so hard that he accidentally spit out his mouthful of coffee.

"Do you really think Linda’s going to leave any evidence behind?" he quipped as he grabbed a napkin to wipe up his mess.

"Hey…we’ll all be character witnesses at the trial…she was driven insane by this twit and had no choice, but to kill him." the Captain teased.

"You know…Johnny maybe on to something with this thing." Chet chimed in. Captain Stanley and Roy looked at Chet as if he had lost his mind. Johnny was surprised by Chet’s support, but grinned triumphantly as he realized that he finally had an allie.

"I thought I’d never say this, but thank you Chet." Johnny stated sincerely.

"What color is the sky on your planet Chet?" Roy asked as he glared suspiciously at the smaller fireman.

"Kelly you don’t mean to tell me that you actually agree with this hair brained idea do you?!" Captain Stanley inquired incredulously.

"Well…I’ve been reading the article in the magazine that Gage had and this Doctor Levitston has had some pretty good results with this type of experiment. I know it sounds extreme, but when people are forced into a certain situation it does bring down a lot of barriers and the lines of communication open up more freely."

"SEE! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you…I just want to make communication between the two of us easier…that’s all." Johnny stated triumphantly.

"I mean I could see where this therapy could work even in friendships like ours. We’d get to know each other a lot better." Chet concluded.

"You’re not handcuffing yourself to me or anyone else pally!" Captain Stanley stated matter of factly.

"No…I’m just saying that what Gage is doing goes far beyond just trying to get some chick into bed with him…I might try this myself with my girl…"Chet added.

"If you ever find a girl." chimed in Mike from across the room. Roy, Captain Stanley, Johnny and Marco all giggled at Mike’s comment as Chet rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Let me see that article." Captain Stanley demanded. Chet headed across the room and handed his commander the magazine.

"I don’t care what you say…Linda is not going to go along with this idea!" Marco stated.

"Linda’s a reasonable, open minded, progressive chick and once I explain this whole thing to her she’ll jump at the chance to participate." Johnny stated confidently as Roy studied him intensely.

"Linda?…open minded?…progressive?….REASONABLE?! I think not!" Mike stated matter of factly. "I think she’s going to kill you."

"For those of you who don’t speak "Johnny"…he’s going to trick her into this." Roy informed his fellow coworkers.

"I…um…I won’t have to…I mean…." Johnny stammered as Roy continued to study him. "You guys just don’t understand…" he finished weakly.

"Who wants to take bets on who is going to kill whom first?" asked Marco.

"My money’s on Linda." Roy commented.

"HEY!" Johnny yelled with a hurt tone resonating in his voice. "Why do you always bet against me?"

"Because when it comes to you and Linda the odds are in my favor if I chose her." Roy informed his unhappy partner.

"John just let me tell you that I’m in your corner." Chet stated with emotion as he slapped Johnny on the back. "I know I may have laughed at your theory earlier, but now I see the light and I think this thing is the best idea anyone has had yet."

"Thanks Chet." Johnny answered hesitantly as he studied the other fireman. He was still in shock over Chet’s support and was not really sure if he should believe his sincerity or not. The others stared at Chet in utter disbelief.

"Come on…let’s discuss this some more outside where the nonbelievers won’t be bringing us down with their negative vibes." the mustached fireman suggested.

"Good idea." Johnny agreed as he rose from his seat and followed Chet out of the room. The rest of the "A" shift stared at each other in shock.

"What just happened here?" Marco inquired.

"Chet and Johnny are bonding. This is not good." Roy observed dryly.

"Maybe I should handcuff those two twits together and send them packing to the loony bin." Captain Stanley mumbled to himself as he shook his head in disbelief and went back to his paper work.

*****

"Okay Johnny the jokes over. Take these things off me NOW!" Linda stated firmly as she held up her right wrist to reveal the one end of the shiny, silver handcuffs. The other end of the cuffs were attached to Johnny’s left wrist. Linda had lost her patients with Johnny about two seconds before hand. They were suppose to be going out to the movies and if they did not leave soon they would miss the whole first half of the picture. Instead of preparing to leave the house however, he was going on about some strange self help therapy and how they needed to handcuff themselves together to improve their relationship. For the most part Linda ignored every word he said and nodded her head occasionally adding a few "Ah ha." and "Is that so?" when appropriate. When he stuck cuffs on both their wrists that was when she knew it was time for a reality check.

"Hunh?" Johnny asked dumbly as he stared blankly at Linda.

"I’m done playing cops and robbers now. Take these handcuffs off and let’s go to the movies." she stated matter of factly.

"Linda…honey haven’t you been listening to me?" he asked incredulously.

"Frankly…no." she answered flatly. "Now come on…give me the key so I can unlock these things." she ordered as she snapped her fingers and gave him a no nonsense look.

"I don’t have the key." Johnny answered.

"What do you mean you don’t have the key? You have to have the key!" she started searching his shirt pocket. "Come on Johnny cough it up!" Not finding any key in his shirt pocket she moved to his pants pockets. She started unloading the junk from his pockets onto the coffee table. By the time she was finished the table was littered with a stick of gum, apartment keys, car keys, lose change, a wallet, a dirty handkerchief, lint, a button, two five dollar bills, one ten dollar bill and twenty One dollar bills and some crumpled receipts. Linda looked at the pitiful collection then to Johnny. "Alright…I give up…where did you hide the key?"

"I didn’t hide it anywhere. I don’t have it." he stated matter of factly. "That’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you. I…"

"Okay, you don’t have the key on you…" she interrupted. "But you must have the key somewhere…like your apartment?…or even out in your truck?" she asked as she gave him a hopeful look.

"Nope." he answered flatly as he shook his head. Linda stepped back slightly and placed her left hand on her hip as she gave him a cold, angry gaze. Her mouth was drawn into a tight thin line and her jaw muscles tensed as she gritted her teeth. Johnny had seen this look before many times in his life. Usually it was being directed toward someone else, but there were a couple of occasions when he was the target. In the past the person who received this look usually ended up bleeding. One kid they knew in ninth grade actually ended up in the hospital because he had messed with Linda one too many times. He hoped that he could defuse her anger before he ended up lying in intensive care at Rampart.

"WHERE are the damned keys for these things?!" she asked hotly.

"Um. . .Linda if you’d calm down and listen. . ."

"I’m counting to three. If you haven’t taken these things off by the time I’ve reached two you’re going to die." she warned angrily. "One. . ." Johnny’s mind raced as he tried to figure out how to get out of this situation in one piece. "Two. . ."

"OKAY!!!! LISTEN!!!!!. . ." he yelled as he held his right hand out in front of himself both as a signal for Linda to stop and also to keep at arms length. "There IS a key to these. . ." An evil smirk curled at Linda’s lips as she held out her hand and waited for him to produce the key. "Uh. . .yeah. . ." Johnny stammered as he glanced at her out stretched hand. "Um. . .well you see even though there is a key I don’t have it right now." he concluded nervously while he continued to keep an eye on her. The killer look returned to Linda’s face. He noticed that instinctively her hands balled into two hard fists that were ready to inflict pain on whomever they came into contact with. "I can explain!" he stated defensively.

"You’ve got ten seconds. . ." Linda roughly pulled her right hand up which caused his left hand to follow then she glanced at his watch. "Starting. . .now."

"Okay. . .I borrowed these from a friend of mine who’s a cop and he agreed to hold the key for me for a week. . .until my experiment was over." he hurriedly explained as Linda checked the watch again.

"Well call your friend and tell him to get over here with the key and to let us out of these things." she directed. Linda noticed that Johnny suddenly became very uncomfortable. He avoided looking at her as he began to shuffle his feet nervously. "What?!" she asked suspiciously as she kept her eyes on him.

"Um. . .well you see. . .my friend. . .he um. . ." he stammered nervously.

"Your friend what? Spit it out!"

"Well he went camping for a week. Maybe two." Johnny concluded weakly as Linda glared at him angrily.

"Let me get this straight." she stated in a controlled voice as she tried to restrain her anger. "You borrowed a pair of handcuffs. . .gave some guy the key. . .and he went camping for a week maybe two. . .then you stuck these things on me. . .and now we’re joined at the hip. . .all because of some stupid article you read? Is that about the gist of it?" Johnny nodded his head meekly while Linda wiped her left hand over her eyes then combed her fingers through her hair. She sighed heavily and turned her head from side to side staring at nothing in particular as she tried to gather her thoughts. Johnny waited expectantly for the explosion that was about to erupt. Finally Linda fixed her gaze on him. Her jaw twitched from side to side as she as she made some weird faces. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked sweetly.

"Uh. . .sure." Johnny answered hesitantly not knowing what to expect.

"ARE YOU NUTS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed with annoyance evident in her tone. "What drugs have you been taking?"

"I don’t do drugs. You know that." he stated defensively.

"Oh. . .I’m beginning to wonder. I think you’ve sniffed a little too much D5W in your career." she retorted sarcastically.

"Look. . .you’ve got to give this a chance. I think it would be great for us." he started to explain. Linda looked at him and rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"You’re a real loony tune and I’m not spending one more minute with you."

"Sorry. You have no choice." Johnny answered smugly as he raised his left hand which in turn raised her right hand so that she could see the cuffs.

"We’ll see about that. Come on." Linda stated as she roughly jerked her right arm and pulled a confused Johnny out of the living room and through the hall and into the kitchen. Linda grabbed a bottle of liquid dish soap off the back of the sink and drenched her wrist with the slippery liquid. Johnny watch her with amusement as she proceeded to massage the gooey mess around her wrist and the cuffs.

"Linda what are you doing?" he inquired curiously.

"Getting these things off of me." she grunted as she tried to force the cuff up over her hand. Johnny smirked and shook his head in disbelief as he watched her struggle with the metal ring. "Aw for the love of. . .you’d think I’d be able to get this off like any other bracelet." she mumbled to herself.

"Forget it. There’s no way you’re going to get these things off without the key." Johnny laughed. Linda tried forcing the cuffs off one more time before giving up. She leaned against the sink and thought for a moment. "Now like I was saying. . ."

"HACK SAW!!!" she stated triumphantly.

"What?" Johnny asked in confusion as he stared at her blankly.

"We’ll just cut these off with a hack saw." she stated matter of factly.

"We can’t do that!" Johnny stated incredulously.

"Yeah. . .you’re right. I’d probably ruin the saw. An axe! That would work better.." she mumbled as she headed for the basement. Johnny quickly pulled her back.

"No axe. No chain saw. No torch. No nothing." he stated matter of factly.

"Why not?"

"Because I promised my friend that his handcuffs would be returned to him in one piece. That’s why."

"Oh how considerate of you." Linda snapped sarcastically as she shot him a dirty look.

"I’m sensing a little hostility here." Johnny stated in the most understanding tone he could muster.

"A little hostility?!" she asked incredulously. "A little hostility?!" Linda shot him an evil look. "Brother you’re sensing A LOT OF HOSTILITY!!!!!!!!!" Linda shook her head in disbelief and began to mumble to herself. "I don’t believe this. I really don’t believe this." Johnny had pulled some dumb stunts in his time, but this had to be an all time winner. She sat down wearily at the kitchen table all the while still mumbling and muttering to herself. She propped her left elbow on the table, lowered her head and began to rub her forehead as if she were in pain.

"Honey just think of how much fun this will be." Johnny stated as he sat down on a chair to her right. "You’ll see it wont’ be so bad. I mean a week ain’t very long when you consider that in the article I read the couples were together like this for a month." Linda rolled her head to the right and glared out him from underneath her finger tips as she continued to rub her forehead.

"Johnny did you ever stop to think about the problems this is going to cause?" she asked wearily.

"Like what?" he asked naively.

Linda sighed heavily and shook her head. "Oh. . .for starters work. You know. . .that thing they call a job. How are either of us going to work with these things on?" she asked with annoyance.

"Take vacation time like I did." he answered as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don’t have that much time left."

"Then I guess I’ve got to go with you." Look. . .that’s some of the things we’ll be able to work on together. . .compromise and team work." Linda closed her eyes and dropped her head down onto the table while she whimpered loudly. She could just envision how she was going to try to explain this to everyone. The practical jokes from her office mates were just beginning to die down from the pizza delivery and stripper incident that occurred a few months back. Now Johnny was going to cause her further embarrassment and generate a new wave of harassment from her friends and coworkers. If she did not think they would have given her the electric chair she would have killed him on the spot. "You know even Chet read the article and agreed with what it said." he informed her proudly. "He’s even going to try it with his girl."

Linda lifted her head and gave Johnny a cockeyed look. "Chet AGREED with you on this?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"Now I know I’m doomed." she stated as she dropped her head back down onto the table. Johnny watched as Linda continued to whimper softly into her arm. He gently patted her right hand with his left hand Linda realized she was trapped. Before she could avoid Johnny and his advances, but now she was physically chained to him and there was nowhere for her to run and hide. Before the week was over she knew that she would be forced to make a decision one way or the other and the mere thought of that excited yet terrified her.

*****

"Turn around! And close your eyes."

"Aw come on Linda. . ." Johnny whined.

"Don’t "Aw come on Linda" me John R. Gage. It’s bad enough you’re in here, but I can’t do this with you watching. Now turn around."

Johnny sighed heavily as he turned to face the wall in front of him. His left arm trailed out behind his back allowing for some slack in the handcuffs which connected him to Linda. "Oh man!" he grumbled.

"Well can you think of a better solution?" she inquired.

"No."

"Then stop complaining."

After Linda recovered from her mini breakdown the issue of accommodations was discussed. Johnny made a vain attempt to convince his unwilling partner to stay at his apartment offering clean sheets as an incentive. Linda was smart enough to see through his ploy and stood firm on her belief that he would have to stay at her place. Knowing her feelings on his apartment he was already prepared in case he should happen to have lost the argument. Before leaving home he had packed a duffel bag into his truck with all the essential items he would need. Immediately after retrieving his stuff from the vehicle another issue raised it’s ugly head, what to do about the bathroom facilities. Because of the layout of Linda’s bathroom there was no way one person could stand outside the door while the other person went inside. There was no choice but for the two of them to be in the room at the same time while one of them did their thing. Being used to a communal style living environment at the station Johnny did not feel uncomfortable with this solution. Linda, however, preferred privacy when it became her turn.

"Are you done yet?" he inquired with an annoyed tone.

"Hey, some things can’t be rushed."

"Geesh! I could read the entire novel of "War and Peace" before you finish." He quipped.

"Yeah. . .well at least I’m not fumigating the room. What’d you eat last night. . .Marco’s chili?" she shot back sarcastically.

"Funny. Very funny." Johnny responded dryly. "Just hurry up before I fall asleep."

After a few moments he felt his left arm being jostled around as Linda readjusted her clothing.

"Okay. You can open your eyes now." she directed.

"Well it’s about time." he sighed as he turned around to face her. Linda stuck her tongue out and gave him a raspberry. "Oh. . .very mature." Johnny stated sarcastically as he tried not to laugh.

"Just as mature as handcuffing yourself to your girlfriend." she commented flatly as she turned and headed for the door. She was suddenly pulled back roughly as Johnny started to unbutton his shirt. "OW!" Linda looked at him curiously as she rubbed her wrist. "What are you doing?"

Johnny glanced down at the front of his shirt as he continued to work then he looked over at Linda. "I’m taking off my shirt." he answered matter of factly.

"I can see that. Why?"

"Well I can’t shower with it on." he stated as he pulled his shirt off revealing an undershirt underneath.

"Shower?" Linda asked incredulously.

"Yeah. . .you know the thing you stand under with a bar of soap and it shoots water at you. . .a shower." he quipped sarcastically as he pulled off his tee-shirt. The two shirts ended up hanging limply around the chain of the cuffs between the couple. Linda stared at Johnny in shock as he began to undo the belt around his waist. "I don’t know about you, but things are going to get pretty funky around here if we don’t shower for a week.

Johnny unzipped his jeans and Linda quickly turned around just as he pulled his pants down. She had not considered what to do about this part of the personal hygiene department. He did have a point, they did need to take a bath or else nobody would come with in a hundred feet of them after the week was over. "Well. . .what are you waiting for?"

"Hunh?" she asked absently. "Well what?"

"Aren’t you going to get undressed or do you plan on showering with your clothes on?" he inquired matter of factly.

"I’m not getting into a shower with you!!!!!" Linda answered incredulously.

"What’s the big deal?! We use to go skinny dipping in your wadding pool all the time."

"Johnny we were six!!!!!!"

"So?" he asked incomprehensibly.

"So we were kids and. . .and there was less of us back then." she stammered nervously. She felt him pulling away from her and soon heard the sound of water running.

"This from the equipment manager of the boys football team." he teased.

"Forget it! You take your shower first and I’ll take mine second."

"Suit yourself." Linda felt Johnny climbing into the bath tub and she heard the shower curtain being pulled shut. "Move closer!" he called out above the sound of the water as he roughly jerk her arm toward him. As a result of the sudden tug Linda stumbled backwards and came close to crashing through the curtain. She stopped herself by grabbing a nearby towel rack.

"Hey! Take it easy will ya!" she called back as she rubbed her right shoulder with her left hand. She noticed water running down her right arm. "And watch the water! I’m getting soaked out here!" she commented as she pulled his shirts over her own arm in order to protect them from the warm liquid. Johnny stuck his head out of the curtain. His hair was dripping wet and water ran down his face and neck.

"What would you suggest I do?" he asked sarcastically. "Not use my left hand?"

"Yeah." she answered matter of factly. Johnny shot her an annoyed look then shook his head wildly causing the water from his hair to splatter all over her. "Stop that you goof!" Linda yelled as she held her left hand in front of her for protection while leaning back slightly.

"Back seat shower." he quipped as he ducked back into the shower. Linda grabbed a towel from the towel rack and wiped her face with it. An evil grin spread across her face as she got an idea of how to pay him back. She replaced the towel on it’s rack then carefully reached across the front of herself with her left hand. Slowly she slid her hand behind the curtain. Once she felt the hard, rounded target under her fingertips she gave it a firm twist..

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Johnny screamed as Linda quickly pulled her hand out from behind the curtain and leaned against the wall casually.. The curtain flew open partially as he again stuck his head out and glared at her. "You’re not funny!" he stated angrily.

"What?" Linda asked with the most innocent tone imaginable.

"You know what." he stated dryly. "Stop kidding around and turn the hot water back on." he ordered tersely. "It’s freezing in here!"

"Oh. . .that. well you see I read this article where this European doctor said that cold showers were good for you. Apparently it helps to circulate the blood better and it does wonders for the skin." she stated with an air of authority in her voice.

"Oh hardy har har." he quipped with annoyance while Linda smiled smugly at him. "Now turn the hot water back on before I drag you in here with me to share this wonderful experience." he ordered.

Linda tried to control the sudden fit of giggles she was beginning to experience. "Gee. . .I thought someone as open minded as yourself would relish trying a new innovative showering technique."

"Come on Linda! I’m turning into a popsicle here. Another minute of this and I’ll be suffering from frost bite." he complained bitterly.

With great dramatic exaggeration Linda sighed heavily and rolled her eyes as she reached back into the curtain and turned on the hot water. Johnny let out a very loud sigh of relief as he felt the overly warm water hit his skin. Linda leaned back against the wall and placed her left hand into her jeans pocket. She shook her head in dismay. "The guy’ll go camping and bath in a freezing cold stream, but give him a cold shower and he freaks. I just don’t get it." she mumbled to herself.

"Hunh? What’d you say?" Johnny asked above the sound of the water.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Linda responded innocently. Johnny was not about to let the shower incident go with out retaliation. When it came Linda’s turn to wash up he decided to become creative in how he tortured her. First he flushed the toilet causing her to be pelted with a stream of scalding hot water. Then he turned on the hot water in the sink which resulted in her suffering through a steady stream of cold water. The more she complained the more he flushed and used the sink. It became obvious that he was having too much fun with this game. Linda silently swore revenge on him.

*****

It was late by the time they finished in the shower and both parties were tired and decided it would be a good idea just to turn in for the night.. Johnny had high hopes of sharing the bed with Linda. It became very clear when she tossed him a pillow and a blanket that she had other ideas. He balked at the idea of sleeping on the floor and tried every form of persuasion to get Linda to change her mind. In the end she hit him with one form of logic he could not argue with. . . it was her house and her bed, therefore she got the comfortable mattress and he ended up on the hard floor. Linda laid close to the edge of the bed. She slept on her left side as her right arm dangled over the side of the bed. Johnny was on the floor right below her with his pillow propped against the bottom of the nightstand and his left arm and her right hand covering his face. In the peaceful, darkened room only the gentle sound of both parties snoring softly could be heard as they slept. The calmness and stillness of the tranquil moment was broken by a THUD followed by a loud "OOOOOffffff!!!!" and plaintive groan of "OW!"

Johnny was startled awake by the force of something landing on his back and something hard hitting the side of his head. He tried to roll over onto his right side, but his movements were blocked from the object behind him. "What the. . .? Get off me." he stated groggily as he kicked at the object .

"Stop kicking! It’s me." Linda stated as she tried to extricate herself from the tangle of blankets. "Give me my arm back will ya!" she ordered as she tried to pull her right arm out from underneath Johnny.

"OW! Hey watch what you’re doing! Wait! Wait! You’re caught on my watch! Stop pulling before you break it!" he ordered impatiently.

"Sorry." Linda apologized with very little sincerity in her tone. "Hurry up and untangle me!"

"Why don’t you stop whining and help me."

"Now just how am I suppose to do that?" she inquired curiously. "I’m trapped back here."

"Oh good grief!" Johnny sighed in exasperation. "Do I have to think of everything?"

‘If you ever gave thought to anything we wouldn’t be in this mess." Linda countered hotly. Johnny opened his mouth to respond, but quickly shut it. He grabbed her right wrist and tugged firmly on it which resulted in her moving even further forward. She ended up being draped over him from behind.

"I can’t do this with one hand." he stated as he craned his head around to look at her. "Where’s your other hand?"

"You’re laying on it."

"Oh." Johnny rolled forward just enough for Linda so she could pull her hand out from under his waist. She reached over him and the two began to work on freeing the handcuffs from his watch. "What are you doing down here any way? I thought you wanted the bed."

"I had the bed. . .until you decided to roll over. OW! You’re twisting my wrist!"

"Sorry. Just take it easy. I think. . .I. . .almost. . .got. . .yeah. . .got it!" he pulled the watch off his wrist and held it up triumphantly for Linda to see. Linda was not impressed.

"Oh goodie." she stated flatly as she slid off of him and sat on the floor. "What about my wrist?" Johnny sat up and held her right hand and wrist with his left hand. Linda watched with concern as he moved her hand up and down and then from the left to the right. "Well?"

"It’s fine." He gave her a comical look as Linda pulled her hand out of his grasp just as he was about to kiss the back of it.

"You know what. . .this ain’t gonna work." she stated matter of factly.

"What?" Johnny inquired with confusion.

"This. . .the sleeping arrangements. There’s no way I’m gonna get any rest with you pulling me off the bed every ten minutes." she quipped.

"Oh. . .so what’s the solution?" he asked hopefully as he flashed a wolfish grin. Linda rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"You win. You can sleep in the bed. Are you happy now?" she asked matter of factly.

A smile slid across his face that expressed his joy. "Completely."

"Sleep!" That is all that you will be doing in there. Comprende’?" she stated matter of factly as she pointed her left index finger at him.

"Aw rats!" he joked as he snapped his fingers and gave Linda a pitiful look. She just shook her head in dismay as she pulled herself up off the floor. Johnny grabbed his pillow and blanket from the floor and followed her lead. She pulled herself with her covers over to the left side of the bed and Johnny plopped down on the right side. He held a corner of his blanket out toward her. "Want to share?"

"No thanks. I’ve got my own." she answered as she readjusted herself and her pillow. Johnny wiggled around and nestled comfortably under the covers. He sighed heavily, smiled contentedly and cupped his hands behind his head. Linda looked over at him and just shook her head. "Comfy?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yes. Very. This is much nicer than the floor. The company’s better too." he stated as he smiled at her.

"So glad to hear it." she stated caustically as she turned her back toward him. In an effort to get comfortable and to annoy the dark haired paramedic she roughly jerked her right arm over to her side causing his hand to suddenly be pulled out from behind his head. Johnny glanced over at her with an annoyed look on his face. He was ready to retaliate, but stopped himself when he realized that without really trying he had accomplished a major achievement. The sour look was replaced by a sly smile that slid across his face. as he rolled over onto his left side and closed his eyes.

*****

Linda stabbed her fork into a piece of meat on her plate. She raised the utensil slightly and held it steady as she turned and watched Johnny with a wary eye. Currently he was busy shoveling several forkfuls of meat and green beans into his mouth with his right hand. His left hand rested idly on the table next to Linda. Slowly she lowered her head and raised the fork simultaneously. Her right hand started to pull away and she found herself in a cat and mouse game of trying to catch her food as Johnny reached to pick up his coffee cup with his left hand. As her hand moved foreword she moved her head foreword gulping at the errant piece of meat like a hungry guppy. Her hand suddenly made a sharp turn to the right and her mouth clamped down on air. An annoyed look crossed her face as she tried again to catch the piece of food. This time just when she was just in biting reach of the food her hand jerked up as Johnny raised his cup to his lips The fork ended up by her ear and Linda tried in vain to gobble up the small morsel on the utensil. Johnny lowered his hand and the fork followed suit. At her wits end Linda let the fork noisily fall on her plate. She sat back and rested her left arm on the arm of her chair as she glared at Johnny. Meanwhile Johnny finished off his meal and sat back in his chair contentedly. He burped slightly as he patted his full stomach.

"AAHHH!!! That was delicious." he stated complimentary as he turned to look at Linda. "I never knew you could cook." He noticed the stone cold, angry look in her eyes as she continued to glare at him. "What?" he asked innocently.

"You’re good for a diet." she quipped sarcastically.

Johnny blinked incomprehensibly at her comment and shrugged his shoulders as he raised his hands helplessly. "I need a clue here." he stated.

"Oh forget it!" Linda sighed with annoyance as she picked up their plates and stood up. Johnny followed her over toward the garbage can and watched as she scraped the plates.

"What is with you? You’ve been in a foul mood all day."

"Oh let’s take a pick of ailments that could be bothering me. . .there’s lack of sleep. . .lack of food. . .or hey. . .here’s an oldie, but a goodie. . .humiliation."

"Humiliation? What are you talking about?" he asked in confusion. Linda glared at him before heading over toward the sink with Johnny trailing behind. "You mean work?!" Johnny asked incredulously.

"Yeah I mean work!" she stated as she dropped the dishes into the sink and ran the water.

"Well. . .I thought things went rather well today. Your boss seems like a really cool guy. He seemed to understand why we’re handcuffed together. . .and as for your coworkers well. . .they seemed to like me." Johnny answered optimistically.

Linda squirted some dish soap into the sink then she slammed the bottle down on the counter causing little bubbles to float from the top of the bottle as she turned around to glare at the tall, thin dark haired and thoroughly confused paramedic in front of her.

"Johnny my boss laughed out loud! I’ve never seen him laugh so hard in my entire career there. He was still laughing when we left at the end of the day! And as for my coworkers. . .well let’s just say that the Phantom has nothing on what they’re going to do to me when this is all over and done with. You turned my office into a three ringed circus. I didn’t get anything accomplished today!" she complained bitterly.

"Well look on the bright side." he suggested cheerily.

Linda looked at him as if he had lost his mind completely. "BRIGHT SIDE?!" "WHAT BRIGHT SIDE?!" she asked incredulously.

"For one thing you got a leave of absence for the rest of the week. . .with pay and secondly you made the dull, dreary lives of a bunch of over worked and under appreciated coworkers a little happier." he concluded as he flashed her his classic crooked grin. Linda gritted her teeth and turned her back on him. She shut off the running water and scooped up a handful of suds. She turned around quickly and flung the foamy pile at him. She started to crack up when she saw how funny he looked with the solution dripping down his face.

"Cute." Johnny commented dryly as he wiped the suds off his face. He reached into the sink and grabbed his own handful of suds and flung them at Linda hitting her right between the eyes. The suds landed in such a way that it looked like she had grown a horn in the middle of her forehead and Johnny started laughing also. "Hey! It’s unicorn girl!" he quipped.

"Oh yeah?" she retorted as she flung another handful of suds at him.

"Oh no! It’s the attack of the Bubble Monster!" Johnny declared as he used both his hands to scoop up more of the white foam. Linda grabbed a hold of the small sink hose at the corner of the faucet and pointed it straight at his belt line.

"Don’t you dare!" she warned as she held the nozzle of the hose at arms length. "Now drop the suds and no one gets hurt!"

"You wouldn’t dare?!" Johnny exclaimed.

"Try me." Linda responded with a determined grimace on her face.

He gave it some thought for a moment knowing that she probably would use the hose on him. His irrational mind over took his rational mind and he decided to go with his first instinct and tossed the suds at her. Johnny’s aim was impeccable and Linda ended up with a mound of suds perched on top of her head. He laughed even harder at how ridiculous she looked, but his laughter was cut short when he felt the spray of cold water moving from his mid section all the way up to his face. Now Linda was laughing hysterically at him.

"Give me that thing!" he ordered as he reached for the hose with his free hand.

"No way!" Linda replied as she quickly squirted him again then ducked past him only to become tangled in his arms and the handcuffs.

"AH HA! I’ve got you now!" he declared triumphantly as he held her firmly around the waist with his left arm while reaching for the hose with his right hand. "Now give me that hose before you hurt someone!" He grabbed her left wrist and tried to wrestle the hose from her. Much to his surprise Linda managed to quickly break his hold and she got in another good squirt at him. "Okay. . .you want to play dirty. . ." He reached into the sink and scooped up a huge amount of suds then smeared the foam all over her face and through her hair.

"HEY! No fair!" Linda squealed as she tried to break free from his hold on her. Johnny easily held his squirming victim firmly in place. And while her attention was diverted and she instinctively reached up to wipe the suds off her face with the back of her left hand he grabbed the hose away from her.

"Here. . .let me help you with that." he stated as he proceeded to squirt her in the face with the hose. "Whoops! Looks like I missed a spot." He aimed the hose at her head and drenched her hair.

"Will you stop!" she pleaded helplessly.

"Not until you cry uncle."

"Never!"

"Okay." He squirted her again as she tried in vain to shield herself with her free arm.

"Alright!!!!! Alright!!!!! Uncle!!!! Uncle!!!!!!" she laughed.

A smug grin crossed his face as he replaced the hose to it’s proper place with great dramatic flourish and released his captive from his grip. Linda leaned back against the counter and wiped the dripping water from her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt while Johnny stood in front of her trapping her between him and the sink.

"Well I finally got to shower with you." he teased. Linda shot him an annoyed look as she pushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Your evil!" she laughed as she weakly punched him in the stomach.

"Yeah. . .I know." Johnny replied as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down. He slipped his right arm around her waist and leaned in closer to her. Linda wrapped her left arm around his neck. ""But I’m a lot of fun to be around."

"At this point I’d say you’re rating about a one on the fun scale." she quipped.

"Only a one?!" he asked skeptically. "I would’ve thought by now I’d rate atleast an eight." Linda thought about his comment for a moment then gave him a comical look.

"Alright I’ll give you a five, but that’s all."

"Hmmmmmm. Looks like I need to work on that some. Maybe this will help boost the ratings." He pulled her closer and kissed her passionately. They were interrupted by the ringing of the front doorbell. Linda jumped nervously at the sound of the tones.

"Saved by the bell." Linda thought with relief.

"You expecting company?"

"No. I have no idea who that could be." The doorbell rang again followed by an insistent knock. "Who ever it is they really want in."

"Probably a Fuller Brush salesman." Johnny quipped as he followed Linda down the hallway toward the front door. "Let’s get rid of them quickly so that we can pick up where we left off." Little did he know that if it were a salesman on her doorstep Linda planned on having him come in and demonstrate every product he had to sell. She really enjoyed flirting with Johnny, but he was going to push for more and she wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Linda peeked out the window of the front door. When she saw who the visitor was she quickly ducked down and flattened herself against the door. Johnny looked at her with confusion as he noticed the wide eyed look of terror on her face. "So who is it a vacuum cleaner salesman?"

"No." Linda gasped.

"Teenagers selling magazines?" Johnny guessed.

"No." she whispered.

"Um. . .an insurance salesman?"

"Worse." Linda choked out breathlessly.

"What could be worse than an insurance salesman?" Johnny asked innocently.

"My mother." Linda answered as the doorbell rang again. Johnny looked at her in shock.

"YOUR MOTHER?!!" Johnny exclaimed.

"SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Linda ordered as she clamped her hands over Johnny’s mouth.

"Linda open up it’s me!" came Jean Halloran’s muffled voice from the other side of the door.

"What are we going to do?!" Johnny whispered hoarsely.

"Well we certainly can’t let her catch you handcuffed to me!"

"Yeah. . .I don’t think she’d really understand this. . .hey I got an idea. . .maybe if we don’t answer she’ll think you’re not home and go away." he suggested hopefully.

"Okay. . .it’s worth a try. SHHHH!" she stated as she put her finger to her lips. The two friends crouched together underneath the window with their backs pressed against the door. The doorbell rang again followed by some more insistent knocks. Johnny and Linda covered each other’s mouths with their hands to keep the other from laughing.

"Linda come on open up! You alright in there?!" Jean knocked again. "Linda?!"

Linda and Johnny looked at each other in despair. "This ain’t working." Johnny commented.

Linda gave him an annoyed look. "Johnny you have such a way of stating the obvious." she commented sarcastically.

"Well. . . I’m fresh out of ideas. What’ve you got?" he asked.

"Um. . .well. . ." the knocks become louder followed by a consistent ringing of the doorbell. "I’ve only got one suggestion."

"Let’s hear it."

"HIDE!!!" Linda whispered loudly as she quickly turned the doorknob and shoved a resistant Johnny into the living room in one swift movement. Linda plopped down on the couch draping her right arm over the back while Johnny stood dumbfoundly behind the piece of furniture. Linda glanced up at him and motioned with her free hand. "Get down!" she directed. "Come on it mom! It’s open!" she then called out. As Jean entered the house Johnny ducked down behind the couch while Linda assumed the most angelic look possible.

"What took you so long to answer?" Jean asked worriedly.

"Oh. . .I was in the bathroom. . .taking a shower. . . and didn’t hear you at first." Linda lied. Jean looked at her daughter suspiciously, but let the comment pass as she sat down on the love seat across from Linda. "Soooooooo. . .what brings you by?" Linda asked casually as she readjusted her right arm behind the couch.

"Do I have to have a reason to visit my daughter?" Jean teased.

"No. . .it’s just that. . .um. . .well I wasn’t expecting company. That’s all." Linda answered weakly.

"Johnny here?"

"Johnny? Um. . .no. Why would you think Johnny was here?" Linda asked suspiciously.

"No reason. . . except isn’t that his truck parked in front of your house? If he’s not here then why’s his truck here?"

Linda spun her head around and looked out the window behind her. She winced when she saw the Land Rover parked right in front of the house plain as day. She glanced at Johnny who was laying face down on the floor behind the couch. He rolled over slightly and looked up at her. "Um. . .what’s Johnny’s truck doing here?" She looked at Johnny for an answer, but all he could do was to make a comical face and shrug his shoulders. Linda shot him an annoyed look. "Ah. . .well you see. . ." she started as she turned her attention back to Jean. "Johnny WAS here last night, but his truck broke down and he just left it here until he could arrange to get it towed."

"Oh. . . how’s he getting to work?"

"I guess his partner is taking him. Look what’s with all the questions about Johnny? I thought it was me you wanted to visit." Linda asked defensively.

"Nothing. Why are you so jumpy? Is something wrong with you and Johnny?

"I’m not jumpy and things are fine with me and Johnny."

"Well what else is new with you then? We haven’t talked to each other for awhile. How’s work?"

"Work’s fine. I’m fine."

Johnny was uncomfortable and bored as he laid on the floor in seclusion. He decided to have some fun behind the scenes in an effort to entertain himself. He carefully rolled over onto his back then using his free hand he gently ran his index finger over the back of Linda’s right hand. Linda was taken off guard by the sudden tickling sensation and she instinctively jerked her hand away from the source of the irritant. Jean noticed the sudden movement.

"What’s wrong?"

"Hunh? Oh. . .nothing. It’s just the cat attacking my hand."

"Linda you don’t own a cat."

"It’s a stray I picked up a few days ago. Ugliest thing you ever want to see, but very friendly." she commented as she swatted at Johnny with her right hand. Johnny grabbed her wrist and gently, but firmly yanked down on it causing Linda to wince in pain and raise up slightly on the couch. "OUCH! Stop that!" Linda warned as she turned around and glared at a smirking Johnny. Jean watched her daughter’s antics with concern. She had no idea what was going on, but was beginning to get the feeling that Linda was hiding more than just a stray cat from her. "Damned cat just bit me." she offered as explanation when she saw Jean’s questioning look.

"Ah ha. I hope you made sure it had all it’s shots. I mean you never know what kind of diseases a stray may have."

"Oh. . .don’t worry. I made sure it had it’s rabies shot. Next week I have an appointment to get the little critter fixed." Linda quipped. Johnny winced at the thought of being fixed and jerked her arm again. "OW!"

"Obviously your cat has a problem with that decision."

"Tough." Linda stated matter of factly as she leaned back, reached down and roughly pinched him under the arm. Johnny bit his lip to keep from yelping as Linda continued to pinch him hard. He pried her fingers off of him and rubbed the sore spot.

"Well I’m going to go do some grocery shopping. Want to come along and make it a real mother, daughter affair?" Jean asked hopefully.

"Not tonight. Maybe another night okay?"

"Okay. I’ll give you a call later." Jean stated as she stood up and headed for the door. Linda leaned foreword in her seat and watched as her mother rounded the corner into the hallway.

"Bye mom!" she called out as she quickly waved her hand.

"Bye Linda. There was a momentary pause before she added, "Bye Johnny." Johnny’s head popped up from behind the couch at the sudden mention of his name while Linda stared at the doorway in utter shock. Johnny looked at Linda questionably.

"How’d she. . .?" he stammered in confusion. Linda shrugged her shoulders helplessly. Jean poked her head back around the corner. A sly smirk slid across her face as she looked at the confused, guilty expressions on the two young people’s faces..

"I’m a mother. I know everything." she stated as she wiggled her eyebrows. Linda stared at her mother in silent shock and embarrassment.

Johnny greeted Jean with a weak wave and an equally weak smile. "Hi Jean."

He tried to avoid Jean’s gaze as he felt the heat rise from his neck and spread over his face.

"Hi Johnny. What are you doing hiding behind my daughter’s couch?" Jean asked suspiciously.

"Hiding?" He looked at Linda helplessly, but she simply shrugged her shoulders as she stared at him blankly. "Um. . .well you see I wasn’t hiding. . ."

"Then what were you doing back there?"

"I. . .um. . .well you see. . .ah. . ." he stammered. "Um. . .I was ah. . ." Jean folded her arms and stared at him suspiciously. "I was fixing a broken leg. . ."

"Yeah! That’s what he was doing! He was fixing a broken leg for me. I can’t believe I forgot about that!" Linda stated as she dramatically hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. Jean eyed her daughter suspiciously.

"So is it fixed now?"

"What?" Johnny asked absently.

"The couch leg. . .is it fixed now?"

"Oh! Yeah. All fixed." Johnny stated proudly.

"Well climb back out here then and join the rest of society." Jean directed. Johnny and Linda looked at each other helplessly. Having no other choice Johnny stood up and walked around the side of the couch being care to hide his left hand in his pocket while Linda rose from her seat and stood as close to him as possible making sure to keep her right hand behind her back. Jean watched the couple with growing curiosity. "So how have you been Johnny?"

"Not bad." he stated simply.

"Why are you two acting so guilty?" Jean prodded. "Is there something going on I should know about?"

"No! Nothing at all!" Linda interjected quickly as she moved even closer to Johnny to conceal her right hand. "What makes you think anything is going on?"

"Oh I don’t know. . .call it mother’s intuition, but when you’re boyfriend is hiding behind the couch pretending to be a stray cat and you start answering my questions with a question I have a tendency to think that something is up. Besides neither one of you are good liars. You always give yourselves away. Now what is going on here?" Linda and Johnny looked at each other helplessly. They both knew they had been caught and now they had to face the music, which neither party relished. Slowly Johnny removed his hand from his pocket while Linda slowly brought her hand out of hiding.

"Let me preface this by saying that I had nothing to do with this and NOTHING is going on!" Linda stated as she and Johnny held up their wrists to show Jean the handcuffs. Jean stared at the handcuffs in stunned shock. The older woman had no idea how she should respond to what she was seeing. Johnny and Linda had gotten themselves into a variety of compromising situations through out their lives, but the only one she could possibly think of that even matched the surprise and shock of this one was when she had caught them playing doctor when they were eight. Jean seemed to recall that at that time they had the exact same guilty looks on their faces.

"Jean I can explain. . ." Johnny started. Linda winced at his statement. It was bad enough that her mother had caught them, but now he was going to offer his lame excuse as a defense. At the moment all she wanted was for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. Jean waved off his comment as she shook her head.

"No. . .that’s okay. . .I don’t think I really want to know. You two are adults and it’s really none of my business.." the older woman concluded.

"Mom, really. . .it’s not what you’re thinking. You see. . .uh. . .we were trying to do a magic trick and. . .well we lost the key to the handcuffs and. . .we were looking for them when you came in. I figured you’d get the wrong idea, so that’s why Johnny was hiding." Linda offered as explanation.

Jean just nodded her head and shot Johnny a caustic look causing the young man to duck his head in embarrassment as he turned six shades of red. "Yeah. . .magic. . .um hum. And for your next trick are you going to pull a rabbit from your hat?" Jean asked as she turned her attention to her daughter.

"No. No rabbits." Linda answered meekly. "Although I’ve been thinking of making the Great Schmedrake here disappear." Linda stated as she shot Johnny a murderous look.

"Now THAT’S a trick I’d like to see." Jean agreed as she too shot Johnny a murderous look. "I’m gonna go. I’ll call you later." She gave Linda a quick kiss on the cheek then she glared at Johnny. "Find that key." she ordered the young paramedic.

"Yes ma’am." he stated weakly. Jean headed back out into the hallway. After hearing the door slam shut both young people exhaled a breath they did not know they were holding as they looked at each other helplessly. "I’d say we handled that quite well. . .don’t cha think?" Johnny asked sarcastically.

Linda rolled her eyes in despair and shook her head in disbelief then turned her back on him and sank back down onto the couch. "I’m beginning to really hate you." she commented wearily as she rubbed her eyes with her free hand. A sly smirk slid across Johnny’s face as he looked at the exasperated young woman.

"You’re cute when you’re frustrated." he teased as he slid down onto the seat next to her and quickly kissed her on the cheek. Linda turned her head and shot him an annoyed look.

"So are we having fun yet?" she asked dryly.

"We could be." Johnny commented as he aimed his next kiss at her lips. The telephone and the doorbell rang simultaneously. Johnny winced and shook his head in disbelief while Linda started to laugh. "I’m beginning to get a real complex here." he stated matter of factly.

Linda patted him placatingly on the shoulder. "Poor baby." she said with feigned sincerity. The phone and the doorbell rang again and again demanding to be answered. "I’ll get the phone, you get the door."

"Right." The two stood up and hurriedly headed in their respective directions only to be pulled violently back together crashing into each other.

"How ‘bout you get the phone and I’ll get the door!" Johnny suggested as Linda nodded in agreement. Again they rushed toward their intended targets with the same result as before while the phone rang continuously and the ringing of the doorbell was followed by and insistent knock.

"Why don’t we BOTH get the phone and the door." suggested Linda as she rubbed her sore wrist.

"Good idea." The couple headed for the phone and Johnny grabbed the receiver. "Hello?" He paused for a moment as he listened to the person on the other end. "Can you hold on for a moment?" He looked over at Linda who gave him a questioning look. "It’s your friend Lisa." He stated as he handed her the phone.

"Hey. . .Lisa can you hold on for a second while I answer the door?" she paused for a moment. "Thanks." she laid the receiver down on the table and headed for the front door followed by Johnny.

"Yoo-hoo! Anybody ta home?" Johnny turned around and was surprised to see an elderly lady carrying a cake entering the back door.

"Who’s that?!" he inquired incredulously as he jerked his thumb toward the kitchen. Linda glanced down the hall as she put her hand on the front door knob.

"Oh. . that’s Mrs. Purdy. . .my neighbor from up the road." she explained to a confused Johnny as she pulled the front door open. Standing outside on the door step was Charlottes’ nine year old son Chuckie. Linda stared at the boy in shocked surprise. "Chuckie?! What. . .?"

"I got sick and my mom has to go to a church meeting and she wanted to know if I could stay here?" Before Linda could answer Charlotte honked the horn of her van and called out to the confused woman.

"Is it alright if he stays here? The child care center won’t take him if he’s sick!"

"Yeah! I guess it’s okay." Linda answered helplessly. Charlotte honked again and waved as she pulled away from the house. Linda waved weakly then ushered the small child inside. Before she could close the door Johnny stuck his head outside and looked around expectantly. Linda looked at him curiously. "What are you doing?"

"Looking to see if there were anymore people coming. I mean this place is getting to be like Grand Central Station." Linda rolled her eyes as she grabbed him by the collar and yanked the smart alec paramedic back into the house.

"Get in here!" she stated as she slammed the door shut.

"Hey Linda Mrs. Purdy brought a chocolate cake for us this time!" Chuckie called from the kitchen.

"What is with the old lady?" Johnny asked curiously.

"Mrs. Purdy lives with her daughter and once a week the daughter works late so she comes down here for some company until her gets home. She usually bakes cookies or whatever and we have coffee and watch TV."

"Whoohooo!" Johnny stated less than enthusiastically as he twirled his finger in the air. "An evening of watching Barnaby Jones with an eighty year old woman and a sick kid. MMMMMMMdoggie! What a fun time we’re gonna have." he concluded sarcastically. Linda tried to stifle a laugh as she playfully swatted him on the shoulder.

"Stop that! Mrs. Purdy is really nice. You’ll like her." Johnny glanced toward the kitchen as Linda headed back to the phone. Mrs. Purdy was busy making the coffee while Chuckie snacked on a piece of cake. "Lisa. . .sorry to keep you waiting so long. Can I call you back later?" Linda paused for a moment as she listened to the other end of the phone. "Okay. . .I promise. . .I’ll talk to you later. . .alright. . .bye." she hung up the phone. "I hope you don’t mind, but I really need to talk with Lisa later. Her boyfriend just broke up with her for the third time this week and she needs a shoulder to cry on."

"I know how she feels." Johnny thought to himself. Instead of voicing his feelings he just plastered a smile on his face and nodded his head in agreement. "Sure. No problem." The two headed for the kitchen.

"Mrs. Purdy this is my boyfriend Johnny Gage. Johnny meet Mrs. Purdy."

"Hello Sonny." Mrs. Purdy responded as she shook the young man’s hand. Johnny smiled weakly.

"That’s Johnny." he corrected her.

"Hey! Neat! Can I be handcuffed too?!" Chuckie asked hopefully as he noticed the silver cuffs on the couple’s wrists.

"I’m sure you’ll get the chance to be handcuffed plenty of times in your life." Johnny quipped.

"So Donny are you gonna have some coffee and cake with me and Linda?" inquired Mrs. Purdy.

"Um. . .yeah. . sure. I guess." Johnny stammered. "And my name is Johnny. . .Johnny! With a Jay. . .not Donny with a Dee. . ."

Great. Chuckie can you get a cup out of the cupboard for Lonny?" Johnny wanted to correct her again, but thought better of it. He glanced helplessly Linda and noticed her stifling a laugh.

"Well this time she was only one letter off." Linda teased.

He just shook his head hopelessly while Chuckie stood on his chair and retrieved a cup from the cupboard above his head. The boy set the cup on the table and picked up his plate and headed for the sink.

"How come you two are wearing handcuffs?" the boy inquired innocently. Linda and Johnny looked at each other helplessly.

"You want to answer that?" Linda asked.

"No." Johnny responded matter of factly. Linda rolled her eyes and shook her head in disbelief.

"Go lay down for awhile Chuckie." Linda directed as she ushered the boy out of the room in an effort to change the subject.

"Yeah, but why are you and Johnny handcuffed together?" the boy persisted.

"You’re too young to know."

"No I’m not!"

"I said you are. Now go lay down."

"Aw geez! Why is it when something good is going on I’m always kicked out of the room and told I’m too young to know?" Chuckie complained bitterly to himself as he headed into the living room. Mrs. Purdy also noticed the handcuffs on their wrists.

"Oh my! How nice! Matching his and her bracelets. Ronny you must really like Linda a lot to give her such an expensive gift." the elderly woman sweetly observed. Johnny felt his face burning with embarrassment.

"Yes ma’am. I guess I do." he answered shyly.

"Well sit down and tell me all about yourself Ronny." the elderly woman stated as she sat down at the table. "What do you do for a living?" Linda grabbed the coffee pot off the stove and followed Johnny over to the table. As Johnny sat down Linda poured the coffee in the three cups.

"I’m a paramedic." Johnny answered.

"A para what?" Mrs. Purdy asked in confusion.

"A paramedic. I um. . .well simply put I help the doctors at the hospital by treating sick people in the field."

"Oh you’re a doctor!" the elderly woman stated enthusiastically. Johnny saw the look on her face and decided that now would be a good time to set the woman straight before the conversation took a turn for the worst.

"No. . .I’m not a doctor. I help the doctors."

"It’s good that Linda is dating a doctor. Let me ask you a question. . ." Johnny rolled his eyes then winced as if he were in pain. He was too late in correcting the misconception that Mrs. Purdy had about him and he knew exactly where this conversation was heading. "My feet have been bothering me something awful. . .here let me show you. . ."

"No! Really! Mrs. Purdy I. . ." Johnny started as he waved his free hand in front of him in an effort to stop her from removing her shoes. He quickly surmised that it was no use to try and stop her. Mrs. Purdy already had one shoe off and was waving her foot in front of his face babbling something about bunions. Johnny looked over at Linda who was seated next to him. Linda tried to hide her amusement, but the humor of the situation and the pitiful look on Johnny’s face got the better of her. She laid her free arm on the table and dropped her head down onto her arm in an effort to conceal her laughter. Johnny saw her shoulders rising an lowering in quick succession and he swore he heard a high pitched squeal come out of her a few times. Not receiving any help from his partner Johnny turned his attention back to Mrs. Purdy and her litany of medical problems and tried to feign interest.

*****

Mike Stoker stared out the window of the community room. The torrential down pour that had started two days ago was still falling. The weather report stated that the rain was from a tropical storm that had landed on the west coast from Hawaii. The source of the storm did not matter to the bedraggled crew at Station 51 however, the "A" shift crew just wanted to go home. They had already put in a solid forty eight hours of work and were now looking at another twenty four on top of that with no relief in site. Most of the main roads had been closed due to flooding making traveling to any emergency a hazard and an experience in itself, let alone blocking any of the other shifts from reporting for duty. Captain Stanley and his crew tried to grab a few moments of sleep and relaxation while they could knowing that any minute they would probably get called out again on another rain related incident.

"Just how many pots of this stuff do you think we’ve drank since this storm started?" Roy asked rhetorically as he poured a cup of coffee.

"Six hundred and fifty six. . .ah. . .make that six hundred and fifty seven." Chet answered wearily as he glanced over to Roy from his seat at the table. "We’ve pumped out three hundred basements, dragged one hundred victims from flooded houses, went on fifteen fire calls, towed nine hundred cars out of rain soaked roads and accumulated a total of six hours sleep between all of us." he concluded.

"Nice to know you’re keep score Kelly." Captain Stanley quipped sarcastically as he leaned back and stretched out in his chair.

"It looks like this isn’t stopping anytime soon." Mike lamented as he walked away from the window and headed for the couch.

"Boy I wish I was Johnny about now." Roy commented as he sat down at the table next to Marco.

"We all wish we were Johnny." Marco observed as he sipped his coffee. "He’s safe and warm in a nice comfortable bed at home with Linda."

"I’d give my right arm to be at home right now." commented Mike. "I really like you guys a lot, but my wife is prettier to look at." The other guys laughed slightly at his comment and nodded their heads in agreement.

"Anybody heard how the great experiment in togetherness is coming along?" asked the Captain curiously.

"Not a word. Either Linda has killed him and fled the state or things are working out better than we thought they would." Roy answered wryly.

"Hey Mike, turn on the news. . .let’s see if Johnny made the headlines yet." joked Marco.

"Well no matter what is going on between him and Linda the twit still has it better than us. observed the Captain. "I mean this storm offers the perfect romantic moment. Stranded in a house, handcuffed together sitting by a roaring fire. . .ah now that’s a way to a woman’s heart. Add a little wine and there you go." The other men looked at their leader in stunned silence.

"Capt. I think you better go get some sleep. You’re getting delirious." Roy suggested gently.

"I think it’s too late for that Roy. Face it. . .our Captain has finally gone ‘round the bend." Dwyer commented with an air of authority in his voice. Roy and the others stifled their laughter while Captain Stanley stared at them blankly.

"What?" asked Captain Stanley as he looked at his men with a lost expression.

"You sound like you might actually be thinking that Johnny’s idea about attaching himself to Linda is actually a good thing." Marco offered in explanation. The Captain thought about his previous statement and winced as he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Oh!" he groaned despairingly. "Okay. . .I’m officially freaked now. I think you’re right Roy. . .I need sleep. Lots and lots of sleep." He stood up from his seat and headed for the door of the community room. "Roy call me in about ten years and not a moment sooner."

"Right Capt." laughed the blond haired paramedic. The tones sounded and all the men groaned as they dragged their exhausted bodies from their seats. Captain Stanley whimpered slightly as he hung his head shook it wearily from side to side while he leaned against the door way.

"Station 51 structure fire at 3478 Arlington Way. Three. . .four. . .seven. . .eight. . .Arlington Way. Cross street Lexington. Time out 19:25 PM."

The men quickly headed for the engine bay while Captain Stanley confirmed the call.

"Station 51 KMG 365."

The engine followed the squad out into the driving rain. The two vehicles headed up the road toward their latest crisis.

*****

"Will you watch where you’re going!" Johnny complained as he carefully made his way down the stairs.

"SHHHHH! Keep your voice down. You don’t want to wake up Chuckie and Mrs. Purdy." warned Linda as she grabbed a hold of his arm.

Johnny’s hopes for some quiet time with Linda was shattered when the rain storm hit. First Charlotte called saying that there was no way that she could get to Linda’s to pick up Chuckie and wanted to know if he could stay with Linda until things cleared up. Johnny could deal with Chuckie, but Mrs. Purdy was a whole other story. From the moment she had met the young paramedic she had attached herself to him and found every opportunity to regale him with her list of ailments. Unfortunately for the romantic young man Mrs. Purdy’s daughter called and also asked Linda to baby-sit her mother until the weather conditions improved. So for the past two days Johnny found himself stuck in a house nursing a sick child and trying to avoid a geriatric hypochondriac. If Linda wanted to kill any romantic notions he may have had going on in his head she was doing a fined job of it. The only bright spot in the whole sad adventure was the power failure which had occurred. With everyone asleep in the house he was hoping for atleast one private moment with his girl and he was bound and determined that this was going to be the night and the moment.

"I don’t think we have to worry about Grandma Moses up there. She’s as deaf as a door knob." commented Johnny dryly as he slowly descended the stairs.

"Will you quite picking on Mrs. Purdy. She’s a nice woman and she really likes you."

"No. . .she likes Donny, Ronny and Sonny. Johnny. . .she doesn’t even know." Linda laughed slightly as she slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Yeah. . .I know you find my being cornered by her at every turn highly entertaining." he complained bitterly.

"I won’t deny it." she admitted honestly. They made their way carefully into the kitchen. Everything was silent in the house except for the sound of the thunder and rain outside. The inky blackness of the night was broken occasionally by a bolt of lightening.

"Where’s your flashlights?"

"In the junk drawer. . .but don’t even bother with it."

"Why not?"

"The batteries are dead. Chuckie and his brothers killed em months ago."

"Here’s a brilliant suggestion. . .buy new batteries." Johnny stated sarcastically.

"I always meant to, but other things always came first like paying bills and buying food. I had planned to get some this week, but then you came along with this ridiculous idea of yours. . ."

"So your flashlight being dead is now my fault?" Johnny asked incredulously.

"In a way." It was a good thing that the house was pitch black and Linda could not see the murderous look that Johnny shot her. She however could feel the muscles tensing in his arm as he balled his hand into a fist.

"Well I guess it’s useless to ask about a battery operated radio."

"If you really want to hear the weather report then go outside and listen to the car radio."

"Maybe I wanted to listen to some music." Johnny countered with annoyance.

"Same suggestion." A loud roar of thunder boomed over head shaking the house as the sound of the wind and rain picked up and an angry finger of lightening streaked across the sky. Linda jumped nervously and leaned against Johnny for protection. Instinctively Johnny wrapped his free arm around her and held her tightly as they both looked at the ceiling in shock.

"Hell. . .who needs music. Let’s just find some light."

"There’s some candles and two kerosene lamps in the dining room."

"Do the lamps have oil in them?" Johnny inquired with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Yes and the candles have wicks too." Linda countered just as sarcastically. "And the stove is gas so we’ll have no problem lighting them."

"Well there’s a plus." Johnny mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing." The two headed for the dining room located off the kitchen. "OW! DAMNED!" He stopped suddenly and Linda ran into his back.

"Hey! Why don’t you signal when you stop." she quipped.

"Sorry. . .but I just maimed myself on your chair." he whined.

"You alright?"

"Oh yeah. . .nothing serious I just broke my foot. They’ll probably have to amputate, but hey thanks for caring." he answered sarcastically.

"Boy are you a grump." Linda shot back as they continued on their way.

"Look. . .one moment I’m in the bathroom shaving and the next moment I’m plunged into complete darkness and I almost decapitate myself. Then you almost trip me coming down the stairs which could’ve resulted in me breaking my neck and now I’m crippled for life because your kitchen chair decided to attack me. And all this is because you have no batteries in your flashlights. I can’t even amuse myself by listening to some music or the sports scores." he complained bitterly as he felt along the dining room table in an effort to avoid any more accidents. "Girl you are woefully under prepared for any emergency around here."

"Oh grumble, grumble, grumble." Linda teased. "I have no problem. The lamps are on the piano."

"Where’s the candles?"

"In the buffet."

"Grab one of those first. We can use it to light the lamps."

"Okay. Stop where you are and don’t move. The buffet is right behind me." Johnny stopped and waited while Linda opened the drawer to the buffet and felt around for the candles. She retrieved a small half burnt candle and shoved the drawer shut. "Okay. Make a right at the end of the table." Johnny started walking again. "And be watch out for. . ."

"OW! DAMNED!" he yelped in pain.

"The chair." Linda concluded weakly. "You okay?"

"Just call me Hop Along." Linda tried not to laugh. "OOOF!"

"What?" Linda asked worriedly.

I think I found the piano." Johnny stated breathlessly. "Add my spleen to the injury list."

"Well you know what they say. . .physician heal thy self."

"Ha ha. Give you a cigar and a funny mustache and you could pass for Groucho Marx." He quipped sarcastically. He felt around the top of the piano gingerly for the lamps. Finally his hand came to rest on a cool, glass base. "Hey. . .I think I found one of em."

"Okay. Can you hand it to me. . .carefully."

"Yeah. Here." He handed her one of the lamps then searched for the second one. "Okay. . .I got the other one."

"Why don’t I lead the way this time?" Linda suggested.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Linda moved in front of Johnny and carefully made her way toward the kitchen with him on her heels. She stopped at the stove and set her lamp down on top. Then she turned on the front burner and lit the candle while Johnny set his lamp on the sink counter and removed the chimney. Linda lit his lamp first then lit her own second. She turned off the stove and blew out the candle. The room was now lit with the soft glow of the oil lamps. "Well atleast I can see where I’m going now." Johnny commented dryly.

"Yeah and you can finish wiping the shaving cream off your face." Linda commented as she scraped a wad of white foam from his chin.

Johnny looked at his reflection in one of the kitchen windows and started to laugh when he saw that, part of his right cheek and upper lip were still covered with shaving cream. He grabbed a paper towel and wiped the foam along with the blood from a small cut from his face. "Oh how attractive." he mumbled sarcastically to himself.

"I don’t know. . .I thought it was kind of cute." Linda teased as Johnny shot her a comical look..

"You really get turned on by things that make me look ridiculous don’t you?" he joked.

"Um hum"

Johnny just shook his head in disbelief as he stifled a laugh. Suddenly his eyes lit up and he cocked his head to one side. "Hey. . .do you hear that?" he asked in a tone full of surprise.

Linda strained to hear something other than the sound of the storm as she looked around apprehensively. "No what?! Did the roof just blow off? Oh lord I hope that big oak tree behind the house didn’t get struck by lightening.".

"No. No." Johnny stated reassuringly as he gently patted her shoulder with his free hand. "Calm down. . .I meant here in the house. It’s quiet. No Mrs. Purdy rambling on and on. . .no Chuckie praising Ralph. . .just complete silence. It’s like we’re the only two people left on the face of the earth stranded alone on our own little island."

Linda looked around the dimly lit kitchen and out into the dark hallway. An uneasy feeling began to creep up her spine as the hairs on the back of her neck began to stand up on end. The thought of every horror movie she had ever been forced to watch in her life time crept into her mind. The premise was always the same, there was a storm, the lights went out and the hero and heroine were always cast into the darkness with only a small candle to guide them as they found the mutilated remains of friends along the way and eventually came face to face with the hideous creature that wrecked all the havoc.

"Yeah. . .it’s kinda eerie. Let’s go hide somewhere until the power comes on." she urged as she began to walk away from Johnny. He grabbed her wrist and stopped her in her tracks.

"Actually I have a better idea!" he stated enthusiastically.

Linda knew the look well, the raised eyebrows with the impish smile that curled at his lips mixed the wide eyed look of a cat high on catnip. Taken by themselves they were adorable, but when combined together they could only mean one thing. . .Johnny was cooking up a scheme. "What are you up too?" Linda demanded to know.

"You’ll see. Come on!" Johnny urged excitedly as he grabbed his lamp and pulled an unwilling Linda across the room.

"Johnny. . . !!!!!!" Linda protested as she was dragged behind the determined paramedic.

End Of Part One